


old habits die hard

by vettery



Series: why you are the way you are [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Cigarettes, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Not Beta Read, References to Depression, Smoking, references to suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24186379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vettery/pseuds/vettery
Summary: You were hiding in the gardens behind the House of Lamentation. It was late at night and you had snuck outside for a breath of fresh air.Well, this isn’t exactly what most people considered fresh air.In a well-trained movement, you brought your hand up to your lips to take a drag from the cigarette. The embers flared up as you breathed in. It was a familiar weight loosely held between your fingers.
Relationships: Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: why you are the way you are [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742866
Comments: 1
Kudos: 141





	old habits die hard

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place some time after the first work in the series. It can probably be read on its own but you might be missing a few small things.
> 
> Don't worry, this isn't nearly as sad and angsty as the first fic. This is completely self-indulgent  
> 

You were hiding in the gardens behind the House of Lamentation. It was late at night and you had snuck outside for a breath of fresh air.

 _Well, this isn’t exactly what most people considered fresh air._

In a well-practiced movement, you brought your hand up to your lips to take a drag from the cigarette. The embers flared up as you breathed in. It was a familiar weight loosely held between your fingers.

You tried not to think about the first times you committed this act. It seemed like a lifetime ago. With each cough, your lungs had grown more accustomed to the smoke's choking embrace. 

You tried not to linger on the memories with it in your darkest times. It had comforted you with its promise of a slow death. 

But you didn’t try to resist its call now, having returned to it with your tail between your legs. It welcomed you back with open arms. Its presence enveloped your body, letting its scent mark you as its own. It had missed you.

You brought your hand up to your face again. Your lips pledged your devotion, a kiss in exchange for a taste of death. 

_Why am I doing this to myself?,_ you ponder, _This is absolutely one of the worst things a human could do to themselves._

There was plenty of well documented research for all the reasons why you should not be smoking.

And yet, the last time you visited the human realm, you offhandedly stopped by a convenience store “for human things.” There was a pack of smokes buried under a bottle of multivitamins, a pack of gum, and your few of your favourite snacks. The demons were none the wiser.

Now here you were, taking a late night stroll in the gardens behind the mansion. You took advantage of a secluded spot in the hedges where you could stay unseen from the windows off your Devildom home. 

As long as you had a small breeze and some minty-fresh gum, you knew the odour wouldn’t be noticed if you snuck back to your room quickly. No one would learn of this secret of yours.

You took another inhale, enjoying the peaceful night. The moon shone brightly, illuminating the garden flora dancing in the wind.

You heard someone call your name from behind you.

_Shit._

You spun around and put your hands behind your back. _As if that would hide anything, dumbass._

It was Lucifer walking along the garden path towards you. You’d been caught red-handed

 _Really? Him?_ Of all the people that lived here, he was the one you least wanted to catch you.

“Give it to me,” he said, putting his palm out. 

There were no qualms about it. There had no choice in the matter. You hold the still burning roll out in front of him. You had half a mind to just throw it on the ground and stomp away. _Why does he want this?_

He took the still-burning cigarette from your hands. Watching you closely, he brought it up to his lips, taking a deep inhale.

You were stunned. _What the hell is he doing?_

You watched as he slowly exhaled the smoke. ~~_It was hot._~~ “I-I can explain…” you whispered.

“Oh? Then please, explain,” his voice was taunting. He peered at you expectantly

Your eyes were glued from his lips as he took another drag, finishing the rest of the cigarette and putting it out. ~~_He was far too attractive for his own good._ ~~

“W-Why are you even finishing it!?” you exclaimed. His actions were really distracting.

“This little thing won’t harm me. It’s a small bit of fun for us demons. For humans, however, it is a different story,” he chided. His eyes bore into yours. “Now what explanation do you have for this?” 

“Well… I was…” you really didn’t have any good reason for this. You couldn’t even come up with a decent lie because you knew Lucifer could see right through it. 

You set your gaze at the ground, his eye contact was unnerving you, “I had a craving. So I bought it last time we were in the human realm.”

_You didn’t elaborate on how this was also a slow, passive way to lead yourself to an early death. It was probably the worst suicide plan you and your depression had ever come up with._

You kept your eyes on your feet, not wanting see the demon’s expression. You had a feeling his lecture tonight was going to be a lengthy one. _And you knew you would deserve every second of it._

“Give me the rest of it”

Hesitantly, you reached into your pockets and passed him the pack and your lighter. It was for the best but you couldn’t help the pout that appeared on your face.

Seeing your sullen expression, he sighed, “Do you have any more of these?”

You held your hands in front of wringing them together, “No, that’s the only one.”

“My dear, you know very well that these will kill you: slowly and painfully, from inside out,” he put a hand on your chin, tilting your downturned face up at him. “Promise me you won’t do this again.”

“I-I…” Your lips quivered but you didn’t want to make a promise you might not be able to keep. As your eyes started to water, he seemed to realize this too.

“I understand if you can’t resist this temptation. I am a demon after all. I live for the allure and seduction of its call,” he soothed, wrapping an arm around your waist.

You leaned into him, leeching off his body warmth, “You’re not going to lecture me?”

“I’m certain you know all the things I could say,” he tucked the cardboard box into his jacket, away from your longing gaze, “Nothing good will come from this. It will destroy your lungs and your body. The addiction will hold your heart in its hands and never want to let you go. Falling into its trap is much easier than getting out of it.”

You nodded, remembering all the times you’ve quit and restarted again and again.

“While I’ve never heard you mention this habit before, this doesn’t seem like your first time. Am I right to assume that you’re familiar with the cycle that is the pleasure of addiction and withdrawal of quitting?”

You nodded again, sheepishly. Even after you had quit smoking daily, you would gladly accept a smoke from a friend when offered. Once in a while, when you were particularly stressed, you would purchase a pack for quick relief. It was in times such as now that you sought the relief of nicotine.

“If you feel the allure of smoking again, come to me. Perhaps I can help keep your mind off it,” he offered, taking one of your hands in his.

“This requires purposeful restraint and self-control. It is no easy task, as I’m sure you’ve discovered,” he brought a hand up to your cheek and whispered, “Let me help you once again. Let me help you develop your discipline and temperance. In this, I am very experienced.”

You looked into his crimson eyes. You searched for judgement, pity, disappointment: all the emotions felt you had towards yourself.

There was none. All you saw was concern, worry, and care. 

You brought a hand up to his face, mirroring his actions. _He cared_.

“Come to me next time you feel this way. I can distract you from the desires in the moment. Come to me, when you next hear the call of temptation,” He pulled your closer, listening to your promise against his ear.

\---

It was a week later when you found yourself outside of Lucifer’s bedroom. You knew he was still awake judging by the light that leaked out from under the door. You knocked lightly against the wooden frame.

“Come in.”

You pushed his door open and quietly stepped inside. He was seated at his desk with paperwork in neat piles on around him. You clasped your hands behind your back as you walked to where he sat, waiting for you to speak.

You took a breath and looked at the ground, speaking, “I was wondering… Do you still have that pack of smokes you took from me?” You blurted the last part out, embarrassed at your blatant line of inquiry.

He hummed a sound of disapproval and you felt your face fall, “Uhm, nevermind. It’s fine. It’s probably for the best if you don’t have it. I don’t need it” 

You hadn’t looked up at him at all. You didn’t want him to see the shame on your face and the disappointment in his.

“Sorry for bothering you. Good night!” you squawked and took a few steps back to leave his room.

_You couldn’t believe you had the audacity to come and ask him that. Did you really think he was going to let you have one? Had you no shame?_

He said your name, interrupting your thoughts. Pausing in front of the doorway, you looked back at him. Lucifer was holding a small box in his hand.

“Is this what you were looking for?” he frowned.

 _So he_ did _keep it. He had what you ~~needed~~ wanted._ You levelled your gaze with his, steeling yourself.

“No. It’s fine,” you said, firmly fixing your eyes to his, “Like I said, I don’t need it.”

He held your stare and smiled, “Good.”

Lucifer gestured with his hand and you followed him to the seating by his fireplace. Gently, he pulled you to sit beside him.

“You don’t need it,” the demon whispered, “You’re better than it. Well done.”  
  
You blushed at the praise, “I didn’t even do anything.”

He pulled you up against his side, tenderly appraising you, “Exactly. You didn’t hide away; you didn’t cry; you didn’t beg. You held yourself back and I’m proud of you.”

You tucked yourself into the crook of his arm. You hummed softly and allowed him to run his hand through your hair methodically.

_You were also working on accepting praise and compliments more. He really was teaching you well, you supposed._

When you finally relaxed, you broke the silence, “Why do you still have the cigarettes?”

He didn’t look at you as he answered, “I held on to it for myself. As a demon, I can enjoy the nicotine without any detrimental side effects.”  
  
His cheeks tinged a little pink. _Was he embarrassed?_

“But now that I think about it...” he drawled, looking down at your now-pouting face, “It wouldn’t be fair to you, hm?”

“Noooo,” you whined and jokingly slapped at his arm, “If I can’t have any, you can’t either.”

You saw him consider your words. _Hmph how dare he!_

Huffing, you turned towards him and bopped him on the nose, “If I have to resist temptation then you do too!”

Lucifer sputtered in response to your actions, “Y-You can’t just… I--”

His hand reached for his nose but stopped short. With a sigh, he reached for your hand instead, “I will not indulge if you can not either. I will dispose of the cigarettes. I will make sure you never see one in this house again.”

You nuzzled back against him, placated. You were sure your cheeks had turned red as well. It was embarrassing to talk about your stupid nicotine problem. You loathed the vulnerability that showed. You didn’t want him to think you were _weak_.

You snuggled closer to him, resting your head against his chest and relaxing once again.

“Thank you,” he said suddenly, “For coming to me in your time of need, like I asked.” 

His hand returned to pet your hair. You leaned into his touch.

Lucifer had been right. He was a good distraction from the cravings. You weren’t thinking of smoking anymore. You were just thinking about him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~ I love seeing comments and feedback


End file.
